The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
