You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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