I cockslap morals
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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