Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
