I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
