I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
