If i could tip my vagina, i would.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
