just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
