the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
