my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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