he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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