I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
