That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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