I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
