come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
