I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
