even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
