At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
