I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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