Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
