My room smells like vodka and shame
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
