Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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