I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
