The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
