i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
