Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
