It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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