Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
