Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
