You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Too much gin, very little bucket
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
