All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
