I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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