I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
