i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
