so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
