another moral hangover. fuck.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
