I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
