my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
