We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
