Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
