I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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