They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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