btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
