I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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