i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
