you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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