Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
