youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
