A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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