i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
