so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
