You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
