i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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