I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
